job

So I have never been good at writing. I always have such lofty ideas such as to keep a blog, a journal, write to people, work, have spirituality and community nights, while changing everything about my life. So to make a long story short, some of those (meaning the blog and journaling) have fallen by the wayside. I’m not sorry for it, it is just a bummer for the few people, meaning my parents, who would like to know what is going on and look to my blog for answers.

I would write about everything I have been doing, but that is very boring and mundane. Life is the same old same old. I wrote an e-mail to a couple of people describing my work situation, so I am just going to copy and paste the bulk of the e-mail, since it is all still relevant.

Things here are okay. They are going to say the least. I am the special education teacher for standards 3-6 (grades 5-8), the librarian after school, and the volleyball, softball, and football coach. Needless to say I definitely have my hands full. While sometimes it is good to always be busy and going, going, going, I feel like I am not able to fully serve anyone to my full potential because I don’t have the energy or resources to do so.

I hope you don’t mind if I tell you some things I have observed of special education and education as a whole being here thus far.

The first week I was here I spent the whole week trying to figure out how to run a library. I spent easily 50 + hours setting up the library, organizing it, going through every single book to make sure it had a library card, etc. I tried to find more recent books and put them in front, as 85% of the library is books written in the 60s and 70s, so the science, social studies, etc. information is very outdated. Within the first 30 minutes of library on the first Monday of school, students came running in, threw books, and knocked over a book shelf. All my hard work was put to shame within 30 minutes. That was a…learning experience.

Since then I have had easily over 200 books stolen from the library. Students won’t return their books and they don’t care that they no longer have privileges to check out other books. All students know it is $5 if you lose a book or don’t return it within a certain amount of time. But if the students can’t afford to eat (which I will get into later), there is no way they are worried about paying a $5 library fee.

The library is still a work in progress, but I am slowing learning what works and what does not work. I have made library cards for all students in the school (over 900) and that seems to be working for right now. We will see what happens in the future.

The second week of school I was really ambitious and wanted to start assessing my students to figure out who needed help, what they need, etc. When I asked who is in special education, I was given the response to go into the classroom, observe for 10 minutes, and figure out who cannot read. Well, I don’t know about you, but it is nearly impossible to figure out someone who has a learning disability by looks.

Having no resources and not having the slightest idea of what level the students would be performing at, I went to the “Special Education Unit” of Belize to get resources for assessments. After meeting with a gentleman there, I was told they have resources up to standard two (grade 4). They can administer assessments that are a day long, doctors have to come in, parents have a huge role (which is a whole different issue, since most children have a single parent household, or both are in jail, etc.).

To make a long story short I spent a good amount of time the second week trying to come up with what I thought would be the most comprehensive assessment for these students (having no idea their ability levels, culture, backgrounds, language, passions, or needs).

After the test results I decided I should focus on math and reading. Students in 5^th and 6^th grade don’t know how to add, what the letters of the alphabet are, or how to write numbers. But then I also have students who can read Dolch sight words at a 3^rd grade level (although I don’t know if they just know the sight words since that is what is taught in school or if they know all the words).

I allowed each teacher to recommend up to 3 students (when the teachers have 40 to 50 students each, they were not happy with the limit). There are 3 teachers per standard, so I could have up to 36 students I work with on a regular basis. It is difficult because there is SUCH a need here. I want to help everyone and I am not even serving the worst of the worst, because I just don’t have the time to. I need to continually remind myself I am one person. I simply cannot help anyone.

That is extremely difficult for me to do. While every other Belizean and all of my roommates come home every night to relax, I spend forever thinking and planning of how to better serve the students, how I could possibly some how reach out to more people and help them. I am learning there is a fine line in doing that though. How much of the always doing and trying to better things is my personality and how much of it is my American ways and viewpoints that I am putting on another culture? I haven’t figured it out yet.

The last thing I want to do is put my viewpoints of America on a culture. I am a guest in another place. I feel honored enough to be allowed to learn about the Belizean culture. I do NOT want to take advantage of the hospitality meanwhile put my own ideas of morality on it. But, it is difficult when I think there is a better way to serve others. It is for the good of others, not for myself. I can tell that is something I will continually struggle with my two years here.

So while the special education program has started very slowly, I am learning A LOT about special education and other Belizeans’ viewpoints of special education as a whole. First of all, I was astonished that the “Special Education Unit” had no resources for a special education teacher. That is the only governmental institution there is with resources for teachers. It is the education department for all of Belize. The fact that they didn’t have any resources or ideas of where I can turn to says a lot about education as a whole in Belize.

Also, during my teacher workshops the week before school we were learning how to make lesson plans. I know I shouldn’t judge other cultures and people for having 20 + years experience in teaching and not know how to make a lesson plan, but I find it very difficult not to on some level wonder how they have been teaching in the past. When it came time to discuss how to differentiate lessons, there was no discussion. It ended with the teachers saying they refuse to, they don’t have time. If students can’t learn, it is the students’ fault because they are “stupid or slow.” Comments like those broke my heart.

I am now supposed to go into a school where all staff think that and start a special education program. Needless to say, I don’t have the support I would like from my coworkers or administration. It is difficult trying to change a person’s viewpoint of special education. They think children are stupid, continually call students out for being stupid and not trying. The students also get harsh punishments for not understanding something (a couple of hits or beatings, depending on the severity and the attitude of the teacher at the time).

None of these things are necessarily wrong, but they are just completely different than anything I have ever come across (other than India). I don’t wish for a second that I was in a different placement, it just takes some getting used to. It is something I need to continually challenge myself on. Definitely a learning experience!

Completely different note all together: festivals! Love them! September is the month of celebrations. The Feast of St. George’s Key was last Thursday and this upcoming Monday is Independence Day. There are a lot of festivals, parades, etc. going on throughout the week in preparation for Monday. Having all of these holidays is a great way to bring me in to a new culture. I am learning first hand about it by all the celebrations. I would go more into detail about them, but this is a plenty long blog.

I am not making any promises for the next time I may possibly blog. So, sorry about that. When I think about it, I will blog. Until next time.